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Wednesday, 10 November 2010

Telling a first year that sex makes babies...

Step 1 : Throw condom at kid and instruct them to catch.
Step 2: Tell kid to open packet.
Step 3: Sit back and watch as a look of horror, amazement and disgust spreads over kid's face.
Step 4: Explain to kid what it is.

Desired result: Kid will get freaked out that it is slippery. They will feel grossed out. They will forget about storks etc. They won't know what to do with it. The kid will suffer from emotional scaring for several days/ weeks/ months. Every time the kid sees you they will run away looking scared.

Hmmm...the fun I have...

Tuesday, 2 November 2010

Lil bit about me...sad creature that I am

Loves ~ chocolate, rock music, screamo music, heavy metal, BLACK, art, manga, religious studies, domo, being different, drama, youtube, andy sixx, the back 2 the Future movies, GREMLINS, crime dramas like Morse and Lewis, my bestest buds, aston & mini aston, owen, susie, coffee, cookie monster, cookies, doughnuts, food that makes me fat ^_^
Hates ~ reality t.v, homophobics, vegetarianism, cauliflowers (they are evil), curry, sport, justin bieber, people telling me that…“god-will-strike-me-down-coz-i-am-an-atheist”, people who say i’m wrong about stuff, people who reckon i’m retarded coz i wear my DM’s wiv my jeans tucked into them (it’s a punk look; deal wiv it), people who don’t respect gay rights, people who abuse animals, the popular kids, GREMLINS 2, people who take the piss out of “emo’s”, people who call people “emo’s” or “fagged”, people who can’t except when people are different, people who think i’m a freak…the list goes on
Stuff that makes me rule…
I’m quite good at making people laugh, i’m quite good at art, i can recite the whole of ‘charlie teh unicron: episode 1’ along with my best friend sadie, i’m not homophobic, i get on with guys just as well as i do chicks (often better actually), i use random geeky works in everyday conversation, i don’t mind making a public idiot of myself, punk lives in me, i manage to interject “rawr” and “meow” into every conversation, according to my mum i ”make a smashing cuppa”.
Stuff that makes me suck…
I don’t like people, i like hanging around on my own, i am self harming, i have horrible nails, i am only 5ft 1”, i have huge feet, i suck at sports, people don’t get me, i listen to different music to everyone else, i am not ‘a popular’, i have mank browny blonde hair which can’t decide whether it is brown or blonde, i suck at guitar hero and Wii games, i’m 8 and a half stone, i’m always late for everything, the only guy i’ve ever dated was an emo from the year below me, i am a nerd from nerdsville, i freak people out a lot, i swear too much, i struggle with love related stuff, i have a habit of pissing people off, i wear to much make up, i’m paranoid about everything, i stress myself out a lot, my uniform is “unacceptable and a disgrace to the school”, i piss teachers off with my uniform and my attitude, i leave my coffee on the counter to go cold (sorry mum).
My fave quotes
‘as the sunlight clasps the earth, and the moonbeams kiss the sea, what are all these kissings worth, if thou kiss not me’
‘it would be almost funny if one of them wasn’t dead…’ lawrence fox/ sergeant hathaway
‘how do i love thee, let me count the ways, shall i compare thee to a summer’s day’
‘this guy walks up to me and says “what’s punk?” so i kick over a garbage can and say “that’s punk” so he kicks over a garbage can and says “that’s punk?” so i say “no, that’s trend”’ & 
“Punk is not just the sound, the music. Punk is a life-style. There are a lot of bands around who claim to be punk and they only play the music, they have no clue what it’s all about. It’s a life-style I chose for myself.” Billie Joe Armstrong 
”i’m like the coffee cream in the box of life, the 1 no one wants…”
“But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? 
It is the East, and Juliet is the sun!”
My hero’s
  • billie joe armstrong (lead singer in green day)
  • nicky wire (bassist in the band manic street preachers, he is really tall and utterly insane, rock on pink feather boas!!!, i need a leopard print trench coat!!!)
  • sylvester stallone (RAMBO!!!!! rawr!!!!)
  • andy sixx (lead singer in black veil brides)
  • phil lynott (lead singer in thin lizzy R.I.P)
  • jimi hendrix (greatest guitar hero of all time, rock god R.I.P)
  • marc bolan (the god of glam rock, wrapped his car round a tree and died R.I.P)
  • john lennon 
  • charles darwin 
  • lawrence fox (sergeant hathaway)
  • kevin whately ( inspector/ sergeant lewis)
  • john thaw (inspector morse R.I.P)
  • stephen fry 
  • florence welch 
  • charlie mcdonnell 
  • alex day 
  • percy bysshe shelley 

Hey.

Just thought I'd have a blog because everyone else seems to have one...

Not that I wanna conform or anything...

I guess I'll just write about my highly uneventful life and vent some anger...